Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons, I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More, he, him, also
with me today is Carla Maxted.
She, her, that is me today playing Nerexious Akra, better known as Glim, just a little
baby version.
And Amy More.
Yep, that's me, she, her, and I will be playing Sullivan Sleight, the baby, and he, him.
And Tom Laird, vamp for a little bit, I forgot my notes on the page in the other
room.
Absolutely, Russ.
Just keep it going.
He, him, that's me.
I am playing Moot, who is the big boy of the group, and also goes by he, him.
What else can we talk about, guys?
Sullivan Sleight is offended that you just said that, because Sully feels like he's
the big boy.
Glim is also very tall.
I mean, not as tall as he once was.
I think Glim's taller.
Let's-
Oh, I assume, yeah.
So, maybe-
This sounds like quality vamping.
Great.
Yeah, yeah, we're back.
Yeah, we did it.
Character fighting.
We did it, guys.
Joining us from across the pond, from many other shows, Madam Magenta and Mockery
Manor and their new Magenta Presents, it's Madam Magenta.
Hello!
Do I say something here?
Yeah, I think probably that's a good idea, shall we?
She-her?
I'm playing Guerrira?
Is that how you say it?
That sounds like a dog saying guerrilla.
Is that the name of my character?
Yeah, however you pronounce it, Guerrira is now how we pronounce it.
Guerrira.
Okay, that's me.
And I am also here.
Hello, I'm Bernard.
Oh, yes, sorry.
I didn't mean to forget you, Bernard.
Yes, you're here too.
I mean, you know, that's fine.
I'm aware that I live very much in the shadow of my wonderful wife here.
That's right.
I am playing Yever, who I notice is an extremely large chap.
Oh, I assume he's a he-him like me.
Oh, I'm small.
Should I say that?
You could do, yes.
Apparently.
So I'm playing Yever, the Goliath barbarian.
It's exceedingly masculine.
I'm not entirely sure I'm comfortable with this.
This isn't the first time you're bigger than me, Bernard.
Well, that's true.
It's exciting, isn't it?
Normally, I'm the strong one and you're the...
I mean, I'm the sort of bardic musician type, sensitive musician type.
But this time, it's the other way around.
Very exciting.
Very clever.
It's amazing, this roleplay business, isn't it?
Yes.
I mean, we're very accustomed to it, to be honest, but mainly in very specific
scenarios.
We do have a dungeon, though, don't we?
We do, yes, we do.
And that's the show, all right, everybody?
Yes, no, and that's exactly what we wanted.
You know, roleplay?
You're doing something different.
And like you say, in Madame Magenta, you like to step outside the bounds.
So that's what we wanted to do for you here today.
I think it's very important to push yourself out of comfort zones, which is how come
we're playing D&D today.
Although we are wearing blankets.
That's true.
So we're also very comfortable.
We're so cosy.
I can't tell you how cosy we are.
Oh, well, I wish we could see how cosy you were.
But that's not what audio podcasts are for.
Where we explain audio podcasts to you in a very mansplaining kind of way is over on
Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cat.
It's coming over now.
No, we don't.
We don't do that.
But we do have a lot of fun.
Tom only does that in real life.
Yes, only then.
And only after he's been inebriated for a little bit beforehand and not realizing
yet.
Once Tom tried to mansplain, what was it, a sleeping bag to me?
Yeah.
Yes.
No, that was my partner.
Oh, it was.
Yeah.
And he still will just burst out laughing whenever he does that.
Tom mansplained PlayStation to you.
Oh, for my house.
Radio games.
Yeah.
Do I look dumber than I feel?
No.
Oh, all right.
Just checking.
No?
Of course not.
No is the answer.
So anyways, Patreon.com, where when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated
to you like today's patron, Luna.
Thanks, Luna.
Luna.
Thank you, Luna.
You're awesome.
Thank you.
Off the moon.
Thank you so much for being here with us.
Clearly, we're professionals just as much as your beautiful profile pictures suggest
that you are.
Oh, this is an extremely slick operation.
Oh, yes.
And we're drinking anyway, so we're barely going to notice.
Yes, we're on the mead today.
It felt appropriate.
Ah, we're so jealous.
Love it.
That's it.
That's all I got.
Now, fuck it.
Let's play.
Hooray.
You don't even have a pen.
I don't have a pen.
I am absolutely...
Do you have notes?
Usually when Russ says notes, it's just a blank piece of paper.
So let's see what happens.
Yeah, I did run to the other room to get a blank piece of paper.
It's all fine.
We hear the sounds of the rushing waterfall and birds chirping.
It's a beautiful day.
It's not the middle of winter like it is right now for some of us who are recording
this.
Ah, Mooklim and Sully have been recruited of sorts by two wandering adventurers who
who have seen many, many things among the Forgotten Realms, and they are Guerrira and,
of course, we just said your name, but in Yeeva, Guerrira and Yeeva.
The five of you are on your way to the caves below the Quiet Keep.
Now these caves once housed what was known as the Voiceless Order, and they had down
there an extensive wine collection in their root cellar and an ossuary and a treasury
that's long since been locked away.
And Yeeva and Guerrira caught wind of this and were looking for some various adventurers
to come help them along on their journey and perhaps take care of any dangers that
might live beyond the keep itself.
During what was known as the Age of Storms, the voiceless monks that hid themselves in
these caves from night raiders and unending rains, they locked themselves away and never
emerged from the caves.
We join them as they are rounding a bend and up ahead there is a very large cave
structure that, as far as your map is concerned, is exactly where you need to be.
So do we think there's going to be like a hundred monk skeletons in there because
they just like never came out because it's kind of gross?
Are these normal monks?
I mean, what is normal when it comes to monks?
That's the question.
It's a great question.
Well, I used to be a monkologist actually, so like we're expecting some brown cloaks,
probably some jewelry of some kind, they wear just godly shit, a likely...
Jewelry?
It's my understanding the monks didn't... unless they're hiding it underneath their
robes, is that what we're saying?
Oh yeah, little known fact.
Bejeweled body.
Underneath, like there's all sorts of stuff going on, you'd be surprised.
Bedazzled areas and things.
Oh for sure.
Nipples, bushes, the whole... because they don't wear anything under that cloak, right?
It's just all... but you got to adore...
Just gems.
Jewels, yeah.
I also have nothing under the cloak.
Is that you, Eva?
Wow, thank you.
Yes, that's me, Eva.
Okay.
That was very masculine.
I know much more about you than I thought I would in this short time that we've
been together.
I think it's important to lay things on the line.
I think you're supposed to be stupider than that.
I had a look at your character profile.
I think it's important to lay things on the line.
That's the stupid version of that voice.
That's just the London accent version.
I think you're being quite offensive.
It's a bit offensive, isn't it?
Ah, me tell you everything.
Right, anyway, let's move on before Bernard upsets too many people.
Oh god, we're going to offend everyone.
I can feel it.
Oh gosh.
Especially people who like monks.
And they're pretty vicious.
Anyway.
Continue walking forward into this cave that is a very warm day and it starts to cool off
as you enter and it narrows towards the end of this long corridor tunnel, if you
will, and there is a door that's in your path now and on this door as you get further
in and your eyes begin to adjust to the darkness, there are many door handles on
this door.
It's just unnecessary.
It's kind of like knobs, latch, like-
It's a bit superfluous, I think.
You look at them and each knob in and of itself is a sculpture of what appears to
be an animal or a monster.
There is a red dragon.
There is a chimera, a goblin, an aboleth, and an orc face, and amongst all of these
is a rusty, old, just regular door handle.
Are we talking these kinds or these kinds?
Or is it like a click and pull, like what do we got going on here?
They are turnable knobs.
Because these kinds and these kinds is great for audio.
I made lots of hand gestures.
While we're talking about what's happening for audio, Russ was describing grabbing two
doorknobs and he just was doing weird boob stuff for that whole time he was explaining
the doorknobs.
Welcome to the podcast.
Just so everyone knows.
Glim's going to get up real close to that dragon one and just look into his
eyes and see what's going on.
Hold on.
Let's not do anything drastic.
Glim doesn't listen to you.
She gets up into the doorknob.
I'm not going to touch it or anything, but like what if it like speaks to my dragon
soul or something?
You have a dragon soul?
Oh.
What's that do then?
Let's take a moment and describe the characters that you see around you.
What?
Are we paying you to come with us to these caves?
I would assume so.
Did we decide a fee?
I'm sure we agreed upon that earlier.
We're just doing it for shits and giggles, aren't we?
Any monk bedazzled penis bones we can find.
Exactly.
Is that the agreement?
I think so.
Great.
So I am a dragonborn, so I look like a bipedal dragon.
And I'm very tall and strong.
And just wait, I'm about to start proselytizing probably anytime because I have a strong
religious faith.
So I'll just warn you in advance about that.
So are you huge?
Are you absolutely huge?
Well, not as huge as Bernard, who is bigger because he's so...
Look at these caves.
I am very big.
There will be some stooping involved, I think, as we go through the caves.
Does one of the doorknobs look like a gorilla?
Because that is your name and that would be funny if it does look like a gorilla.
Only funny to you, Bernard.
Sorry, Yeeva, whatever your name is.
So Moot is a half-orc.
So he's humanoid, but he's got exaggerated features and kind of sharp fanged teeth and
greenish, kind of bluish skin.
And yeah, he's just a normal looking dude, but he just happens to be a half-orc.
Okay.
Sully is a halfling, so he's only like three foot five.
So it's a wee.
Tiny.
Yeah, a wee boy.
A wee boy.
Hello.
Dark, dark skin, brown hair, loves the earth tones.
And while we're describing characters, we might as well describe Gareera and Eva as
well, so we all know what the full family picture looks like.
What the hell am I?
I don't know.
Oh, I'm a bard.
I'm a bard and a kender, which I thought was a Kardashian.
What is a kender?
A kender is akin to a halfling, a very small...
Oh, you're pretty small as well, then.
Right.
Okay, so halfling, they're half a ling?
What's a halfling?
A full ling is like a normal-sized person.
So a halfling is just a very short person.
And Eva, he's a very, very large chap.
Goliath barbarian.
I mean, that's two very large things rolled into one.
And he's got markings on his face a little bit like a tabby, like a tabby cat.
Well, I think when they get to that size, they're a tiger, aren't they?
Oh, I suppose so.
A giant tabby.
Yes, like a big bald tiger person, a sort of humanoid tiger.
Oh, he's like that thing out of Star Wars.
Yes, Darth Maul.
Yes, that's what he looks like.
But a big hulking person, but I suspect rather sweet.
Darth the Tabby.
Deep down somewhere.
Looking back at the door, you look at the dragon doorknob,
and it is very intricately carved.
The detail on it, like down to the scale, is visible to you as you examine this.
It is larger than the rest.
It is carved from what appears to be a brass material.
Do you carve brass?
I don't think you carve brass.
I think you mould brass.
Not that I'm being pretentious, sorry.
Although it sounds like it could be worth something,
so I reckon we just chip it off, sell it, end of campaign.
Should we have it?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
We can take them all on there when we go.
We don't want to carry it all the way in and all the way out.
Should I just grab it?
No, no, no.
Oh my god, you guys, come on, think critically.
I can't, like, see most of these,
but what if the one that you turn is a monster
you've got a face on the other side?
I grabbed it!
I grabbed it everyone.
I'm sorry.
There we go.
You know, I'm just impulsive like that.
Ooh!
I think we go splunting when you grab one.
Which one did you grab?
The dragon.
The dragon?
The dragon.
Yes.
I want to know if Russ is doing an Indiana Jones
with the plain one or a reverse Indiana Jones.
That's what I was thinking.
It's not the plain one.
Would you avoid the most obvious one
because it's the most obvious one?
You go for the one carved like Jesus.
I see.
Quite often he presents us with very straightforward things
that we make needlessly complicated.
We spent a whole episode once trying to cross a bridge
with a horse.
It was very difficult.
He's just absolutely desperate for us
to just open the sodding door.
I mean, we're only at a door.
Like, I think we need to go through,
so I've just grabbed the dragon.
Yes, Magenta's grabbed the dragon.
I've grabbed the dragon.
There's no going back now.
I've grabbed it.
Are we all dead now?
What happens then?
Yeah.
Okay, so you grabbed it.
You grabbed it and you turned it
with the intent to open the door, yes?
Just the intent to be annoying, really.
Okay, yeah.
You wiggle it, you jiggle it, yeah.
I think I succeed.
And the door opens and there is a...
Yeah, that was easy.
It opens into a wide-spaced room on the other side
carved into the mountain itself.
And there are dusty rows of dusty wine racks
covered in cobwebs.
Why say we just live here?
Yeah, I mean, we're probably
not going to find anything better.
We can take some of this,
take all the doorknobs on our way out
and, like, is that good for you two?
Yeah, sounds great.
Yeah, I can't even remember why we're here.
I'm not going to lie to you.
I was probably chasing the dog
with a dishrag at the time.
I made notes.
Voiceless order?
I mean, who the hell are they?
Oh, they're the monks, yes.
Oh, right, the monks, yes.
Oh, there's a treasury.
I think maybe we should go to the treasury.
We start in wine cellar
and then go to treasury.
Yes, I mean,
that's what happens, isn't it?
You go to the pub,
you have a few drinks,
you go to the bank to get more money
to buy some more drinks.
And the cycle continues.
You step into the room,
all of you,
and the door swings shut behind you.
Echo.
Ahead of you is a very dark chamber.
I don't know who has night vision.
Dark vision.
I do.
Moot, you have visibility into the room
and there's a figure down at the far end.
Seems to be standing,
staring at you, not moving.
Okay.
I'm going to pull out my journal
and I'm going to cast light on it
so that it provides some light for everyone else.
The room illuminates
and you see all of these,
these dust-filled,
and there's wine bottles all throughout
all of these,
all of these shelves,
and the figure doesn't quite come into view.
Like, it's just like they're at the end
of where the light is emanating from
and you can't quite make them out
from where they are.
Russ, I rolled an 11
on my Wild Magic Surge roll,
so it should be good.
Okay, cool.
Sully's taking wine bottles
and putting them into his bag.
Yeah, yeah.
They're all full.
They look like a good vintage.
It was the 2486 vintage, obviously.
Of course, yep.
One of the best.
Javer is just standing
and pointing at the figure.
Not saying anything,
but just standing
and it's finger extended
like in Donald Sutherland
in Body Snatchers,
just...
I've cracked open some of the wine.
You had magentas on the wine, yes.
You all see...
I mean, there's...
Hello?
They don't respond,
but do move.
Oh my god, it's not a statue.
I wasn't expecting that.
I thought for sure it was a statue.
This figure begins to
move towards you.
It doesn't appear
that they're walking,
they're floating towards you.
And they come into the light
and they begin to waver.
It appears to be a ghost
coming towards you.
Ooh.
A force ghost?
He is see-through.
I can see through him.
You're not much use, are you?
I just observe
and comment on things
that are happening
before our eyes.
Why don't you use
your big bulky hands
to sort of wave it through
the ghosty thing?
Go on.
Do you do that?
I can do an unarmed strike
at the ghost.
Yeah, go on.
Go on.
Attack the ghost.
I think this
can't possibly go wrong.
Are you going to fight the ghost?
Yes, fight the ghost.
David does anything I tell him to.
Slap it in the face.
Fight the ghost, David.
Yes, all right.
I'm going to roll strength.
Nearby the bollocks.
Is that how it works?
You would roll
for your unarmed attack,
so under...
Yes, unarmed attack.
Here it is.
Click that
and it should roll a d20 for you.
So I have a good one,
an 18.
That'll kill that ghost dead.
That'll learn it.
Yes, you strike the ghost,
so roll damage for me now.
Ah, yes.
All right.
I hate ghosts.
Five, I believe,
is what it's given me.
You move forward
expecting your arm
to go through this ghost,
but instead,
it feels like it slows
and you're driving your fist through it.
Like, more of...
There's more of a substance there
than you would have expected.
At the same time,
so you deal the five damage to the ghost,
but I would like you
to make a wisdom saving throw.
My wisdom saving throw is zero,
which is very on brand, isn't it?
Yes, so if you click the little...
If you click the zero,
it should roll a dice for you as well.
Oh, it did.
The end result was zero.
That was the...
The end result was zero?
Yes.
We learned nothing.
Does that mean something?
You have got a minus one.
Okay, great.
Love it.
Fantastic.
We're all there.
So the ghost lets upon you
its horrifying visage.
So you are frightened
for one minute, Yeever.
If it fails by five or more,
if it did,
can you roll me a D4?
Here it is.
I've got it.
Roll two.
At the same time
as you are frightened,
everybody else notices
and you begin to feel in your bones
that you are aging forward 20 years.
My back is uncharacteristically stiff.
Guy, you're not looking too good.
I've suddenly urged to retire.
I don't think anyone else
should touch this ghost.
Yeah, I don't recommend
punching the ghost.
Anyone else.
I think Yeever has gotten
better looking with age, though.
You look better and better
as the years go by, my dear.
Go on, give it another punch.
Silver Fox.
Give it another punch.
Go on.
I bet you look even better
as a pensioner.
Shall I punch the ghost again?
No, actually don't.
I don't think that
is going to progress matters.
I'm very, very scared.
The ghost begins to move back.
A few steps and looks disappointed
at you and kind of shrugs,
doesn't vocalise anything
and looks towards you expectantly.
So it's cast a disappointed
look at us or at Yeever?
At the group.
Oh, at the group.
Oh, I see.
Oh, we've disappointed the ghost.
Oh dear.
I am a bad spokesperson
for the group.
Are we supposed to care
what this ghost thinks of us,
though?
It's disappointed.
Have we disappointed it?
It's not my mother.
What does it want?
Why is it disappointed?
Can I pick up a rock on the floor
and just chuck it at it?
But like an underhand toss,
not like an aggressive throw,
maybe?
Yeah, absolutely.
You can.
OK, I don't know
what I'd roll for that.
Just roll with a 20.
Roll for rock throw?
Wow.
That was an eight.
The rock just soars by the ghost.
Oh, good.
Well, at least it may.
Hey, I threw that a lot further
than I thought I was going to.
Wait, there was something
about these monks.
They didn't talk.
What was the name?
There was a proper name for them.
Voiceless.
Right.
Voiceless.
Oh, that is a big clue.
I for sure thought
Tom was throwing at me
to name the monks
and I was like...
Amy, over to you.
Scrumphil.
Sir or madam?
I apologize for the punch.
Yeah, who do you think
you are, my mother?
Hello.
Waves.
Anything.
Oh, hello.
We were back.
OK.
Oh, I am adding guilt
to my fear.
He's a nice guy.
Can you just point us
to the treasure?
Yeah.
I don't think we need to...
Are you protecting anything
or are you just kind of
hanging out?
Do we need to release
your spirit from this
earthly plane?
Do you have unfinished business?
We've all seen Casper.
He shakes his head.
Yeah, there's no point
talking to ghosts.
I've talked to a lot of ghosts.
They've got nothing
interesting to say
and they're just so vague.
I mean, being vague
is a key tenet
of a ghost's personality.
I mean, you always say
if they have nothing
interesting to say in life
they're very unlikely
to have anything to say
in death, really.
Exactly.
I mean, whoever this guy was
was he worth talking to?
I'm very charming
by the way, apparently.
My character.
Apparently so.
So I could try
and charm him
or something.
Although he hasn't
got any physical appendages
it's very hard
to, you know,
my normal techniques
won't work.
I'm just saying that.
But I could try.
Do you want me to try?
How does that work?
What's happening?
What are you trying to do?
You're trying to charm
or you're trying to
persuade the ghosts
to help you?
Yeah, or just to leave.
OK, you're just trying to
make up for Yeever's
initial punch.
Got it.
Yes, make a
I'd rather,
yeah, probably
a persuasion check.
So under your skills
you will find a list of
different things that
your character can do.
Persuasion, yes.
25.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
God, I'm charismatic.
You are so charismatic.
She's magnificent.
I am.
I am magnificent.
So, yes, also, yeah.
So I say to him,
oi, ghostie,
come on, be useful.
Useless wanker.
And he's so charmed,
he does something useful.
He does.
He turns
and begins to
begins to go back
down the other way.
Should we?
OK, so we'll just follow?
Yeah, that's fine.
OK, great.
You really got away
with these ghosts.
We should have started
with that.
You pass rows and rows
of these shelves
with wine all in them,
some broken bottles,
but for the most part
all filled.
And you get down
to the end of this row
of shelves
and there are two
directions to go.
There's a left
and a right.
The ghost
ushers you,
as you are looking them,
to your right.
Do we see anything down
either of the halls
or they just look
dungeon-y,
cave-y?
They appear
dungeon-y.
You don't see anything
much beyond.
There's a long tunnel
that goes,
but that's
the way he ushers you
and
taking
Guerrera's lead
of how
charismatic they are.
What's charismatic?
The dungeon.
You, Guerrera,
yeah,
you, Magenta,
are charismatic.
Oh, how charismatic I am.
Right.
OK.
So we trust the ghost
because it's so charmed.
Oh, I see.
Right, yes.
You could presume.
Sure.
Why would he lie to us?
Let's follow him.
Why not?
Let's follow Ghosty.
Is he going down
and this is where
I leave you?
Very much in that
respect.
He's directing you
down this hallway.
How about we say
you first, buddy,
just in case
there's any traps
and he can, you know,
he might
just go for it.
He might take it.
Points to his imaginary watch
like he has a scheduled
appointment coming up.
Oh, I see.
No apologies.
The non-corporeal
are pretty useless
at setting off traps too.
I thought you said
he was viscous.
What's his face?
Oh, that's a great point.
He punched him
and he was viscous.
Yes, there was a
it was like punching custard.
Which you do a lot,
don't you?
Yes.
It's really bad.
It's part of the
training regimen.
So you wake up,
eat several
dozen eggs,
then you go into
a long
Then you make the eggs
into a custard.
Exactly.
A long routine
of custard punching
and then that sets you up
for the day.
Oh yeah, it's like
the slapping of the water,
right?
Exactly.
It's like a
non-newtonian liquid.
Is this
getting side-tracked?
No, this is perfect.
In the best way.
I'm adding this
into
my workout routine.
Zumba, like
a hundred push-ups
and some custard punching.
I'm going to be
so much stronger
than I already am.
If we have learned
nothing else
from this encounter
in the place
with the
custard man,
then we
have learned some
good workout tips.
Don't tell
don't tell Hylip
about it though.
He's going to want
a new franchise
and then it
yeah, no, no.
Let's just keep it
between us.
It's a private
routine.
It's a private
workout routine.
We cut to
an office space
somewhere
and Hylip
is writing at his desk
and he's like
somewhere,
somewhere
somebody's talking about me
coming up with
a great idea.
I'll jot it down.
Okay.
And then we cut back.
You all proceed
forward at the
ghost direction.
Everybody
make a perception check
please.
20.
So perception would be under
your skills again.
16.
Magenta
and Bernard.
17.
I'm very perceptive.
10.
This is surprisingly
perceptive for me.
14.
Excellent.
Even a stopped clock
tells the right time
sometimes.
You all begin
forward and
in your path
is
two sets of
skeletons
in monk robes.
One of them with
as you see
at Guerrero
is a
a note
or a piece of paper
sticking out of
one of the pockets.
Right.
That's handy, isn't it?
Take a peek under
the tent there.
Oh, what,
as in
let's have a look at
his jewels,
his family jewels.
You know,
I think I'll
just have a look
at the note.
I'm going to
rummage the dead box.
Because I'll
only be disappointed.
The chances are
you know,
you lift someone's robes
and also,
you know,
permission.
He's not around, is he?
Although I am going to
steal everything
he owned
and take this note
as well.
You can make
an investigation check
for your rooting.
As you read
the note,
Sully is looting
the bodies.
The note says
that's very
disrespectful.
Thank you for
pointing that out.
The note says
Dia,
please help
Jaren
set up his
contraption
in the
ossuary tonight
and remember,
the latter is broken
in the root cellar.
If you need to
get into
the lower
caves,
there is an
extra
ossuary key
on the
root cellar
shelf.
These are
too many facts
to remember.
Too many words.
What's an ossuary?
I think that's
where they
keep the
ostriches.
Ah, yes.
Makes sense.
Yeah, if that
makes sense.
I mean,
we should avoid that.
Ostriches are like
big and mean
and they're one of
the most
dangerous
creatures
in the world.
We should avoid
the
ostrich-uary
as much as we
can.
Okay, guys,
by the
sounds of this,
we gotta go
into the
root cellar
that has
a broken
ladder,
get a key,
and then
go to
the
ostrich-uary
anyway.
But I mean,
do we?
I don't know.
What if we
don't have to
do that?
So we can't
get to the contract.
In the ostrich-uary.
And there's two
ostriches.
There's two of them.
Yeah.
Sounds like it.
Are they keeping
them separate?
Because they keep
fighting, is that
the problem?
In mating season,
though,
you don't want
to be in the
room with
a breeding pair of...
Yes.
They're probably
long dead,
to be honest.
Oh my god,
the idea of them
being dead
makes me so much
sad.
They didn't make
a choice.
That's terrible.
Sully, you find
three gold coins
and a bottle
of wine.
Fuck yeah.
I put those
in my pocket.
Oh, that's
cheered us up.
You know,
we were sad about
the ostriches,
and now we're like,
fuck them.
Fuck them,
I got three gold coins.
I can buy a new
ostrich.
I want to know what
the contraption is.
It's almost as if
it was meant
to be intriguing.
Should we go
and find out
this is your rodeo?
You're right.
All right, let's go.
And I reckon
we don't need the ladder.
We'll just go
straight there
and figure out a way
to get up to it.
I am very large.
You may climb me.
There we go.
Yes, we'll climb Yeeva.
Perfect.
Are you continuing
the way the ghost
had ushered you
to go?
I mean, we don't know
any other way to go,
so yeah.
That's fine.
Okay, great.
Oh, I should ask,
is there one of those
things on the wall
with like a fire escape route?
No.
Okay.
Oh, what?
Like a little map
saying where to go.
Hmm.
Oh, that should be handy.
Wouldn't that be handy?
They never put them
in these dungeons,
do they?
They never do.
You very rarely
find a map.
That's why you find
a load of skeletons
in these places
because they're all going,
where's the bloody exit?
We don't know.
We don't have a map.
You know, so they just
perish.
It could save themselves
a lot of cleaning.
All these skeletons
lying around.
Some very, very simple
health and safety requirements.
You continue forward
down the tunnel
until you
and after
about 40 or 50 feet,
you end up
in what appears to be
a room full of stacks
of dirty barrels
and crates
covered in moss.
So it's a bit damp
down here then?
I was going to say
is it a moist cave?
What is this?
Goodness me.
It is a moist cave.
Could be
a root cellar.
What are you
keeping a root cellar?
Roots?
Is this,
do you keep roots
in a root cellar?
What are we just
going to find?
We're going to find
a root cellar.
Are we just
keeping a root cellar?
We're going to find
carrots and
rutabagas.
Oh, and if it's moist?
Last year's apples.
They're probably
doing quite well
if it's moist.
Oh, there's no light though.
Is there a light source?
Well, I think
they've already been
harvested.
Like dark is good.
Is it dark?
It is dark.
Mushrooms like the dark.
And as you enter,
you hear the sound
of what sounds
like rummaging
in some sort of,
and it's grotesque
and it's like there's flesh
tearing from somewhere
in this cellar.
Apologies.
Or was that you?
Yes, sorry.
Did you fart
into your moist trousers?
It's close quarters in here.
Well, it is a small room
and I am a
large rummaging person.
You made it smaller.
I made it smaller.
There may also be
some rummaging
that is not me here.
Mo, could you like
light it up?
Turn, turn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Turn on the light.
Are we just stumbling
around in the dark?
Is that what's going on?
Well, I mean,
I have my book
that's lit up,
but it's not super bright.
But I like,
I hold it higher.
You're just holding
your cell phone
and you haven't turned
the flashlight part on.
You're just using
the screen.
Could you have made it
brighter this whole time?
Well, I mean,
I could hold it higher.
That's about all
I can do with it.
Why didn't we come in here
with a torch,
like a flaming torch?
You go into a cave system
without anything.
What a bunch of morons.
Well, hold on.
What if there was
some off gases
or something
that was flammable?
Oh, yeah.
Let us immediately
light a big fire.
Let's test this theory.
You lift the light higher,
and there are many boxes
and things,
which are obscuring
your view.
But as you do so,
you see the heads
of these big-eared,
almost monkey-shaped
creatures
that poke their heads up,
and they have blood
all over their face.
And they let out
this hideous scream,
and four of them
shoot up into the air
and move down
to attack you.
What have they been eating?
Welcome to the middle.
We got fun and games.
We got monkey monsters,
and they're gonna
eat your brains.
Oh, my God, you guys.
I mean, that's one
of our better ones.
I am so turned on right now.
You rhymed
in all the right places
for me.
Yep.
You really did it, Russ.
Fantastic.
I'm so proud of you.
I have been
just lying in wait
for six years.
That's right.
It's all been building to this.
Yes, finally cashing
in your monkey brain material.
It's been sitting
on the back burner
just collecting
until this point.
That's right.
We are here
with...
OK, everybody's here,
but we're here
with Madame Magenta
and Bernard,
who have joined us
for this lovely episode.
And in the middle,
we tell our listeners
all about the great things
that we have going on.
But instead of talking
about us,
we're gonna talk about you
and all of the great shows
that you have
because we love them all
so very much.
Thank you very much.
Shall I tell them
what our shows are?
Yes, you're Keeper
of the Britain.
You do it.
All right.
So you can listen
to our show
Madame Magenta
in which Magenta
reads from her book
and we also...
Oh, and we answer
listener problems as well.
Yes, we...
Listeners write to us
and we use the powers
of bibliomancy and so on
to solve their problems.
And we also have a new show,
Magenta Presents,
which is a horror anthology series
and that is hosted
by Magenta herself.
That's right.
God, I'm so excited
for that.
How scary
is the horror?
I'm gonna risk it.
I don't even care you guys.
I don't care how scary it is.
It's gonna veer wildly
all over the place.
So the first one is a...
The first horror
that we're presenting
is a five episode drama
called Ghosted
and I would say
it's actually a bit scary.
It's actually, you know,
out of 10,
it's at least an 8.5
on the Theorometer.
Oh, I'm so excited.
It's actually quite scary.
And then after that
we'll probably have some,
you know, some fun.
Oh, yes.
Lots of different
wildly veering quality
and...
Children's...
Not quality.
All very good.
All excellent.
But yes,
some are in the,
you know,
the comedy horror,
the children's horror
and some are...
Children's?
Oh yeah, maybe.
Oh no, we're not doing that.
No, we're not doing that.
Children's horror.
How are we supposed
to comment on children's horror
with our normal
disgusting panache?
That's true.
So no,
we won't do any children's horror.
No, it's all adult.
Adult horror.
But yes,
some scary, some not.
Love it.
The framework of the show,
is magenta part
of the entire story
or is this like
a Tales from the Crypt
kind of vibe
where magenta...
Yes, Tales from the Crypt.
Right.
So we introduce it.
I might even do
a little poem or something.
Probably not.
That sounds like
a lot of effort.
I'll just introduce it.
Bernard and I will.
And then at the end of it
we'll have a little book club
where we talk about it.
Yes, we go,
wasn't that fun and interesting.
Oh fun.
Will there be a cocktail?
I've really enjoyed
trying some of your cocktails.
Oh did you?
And you're still here
to tell the tales.
Gosh.
Well some,
yeah,
they were varying quality.
Did you like the savory ones
the best?
The savory was
interesting.
Memorable those ones,
aren't they?
Memorable, yes.
Thick.
Yes.
Chewy.
Yes.
Not usually what I look for
in a cocktail.
No.
Oh, you haven't lived
until you've tried
Magenta's savory cocktails.
High cheese content.
Oh boy.
If gravy isn't included
as one of the ingredients,
what are you even doing?
Oh yes.
Is it even really a cocktail
at that point?
Love it.
Go check out
Magenta Presents
which by the time
this is released,
at the very least
the first episode will be out,
if not more.
And all of their other series.
Madame Magenta,
Sonos Mystica
and Mockery Manor.
Mockery Manor,
yes we're in that as well.
I got thrown
because there wasn't a Magenta
as part of that.
And four will be
Magenta Presents
Mockery Manor.
Oh gosh.
I mean, I'm basically
like infiltrating
every single podcast.
Oh yes,
it's the Magentaverse.
Yes, it's the MCU.
Yes.
Magenta Cinematic Universe,
you see.
Love it.
And now we'll get you
back to the episode.
Thanks so much for being
here with us.
We'll talk to you soon.
Okay, bye.
Love you, bye.
Bye.
Let's roll for initiative.
How tall is this situation?
This is,
this one is probably
ten or twelve feet tall.
Okay.
Cavernous.
Initiative.
Small people.
Initiative, yes.
Ah yes,
I found it.
It's alright,
I've got it, yes.
Are we all doing it?
We're all doing that.
Everybody, yes.
Fifteen for Sully.
Nineteen for Yeva.
For scoring surprisingly good
for all of the intelligence
and initiative things.
And you knew that,
you knew that fact
about Custod as well.
Yes.
I think maybe it's
because you got older.
I got older and so.
Thirteen,
I threw a thirteen.
Thank you.
Ten for Glim.
Eight for Moot.
My god,
Sully's going second
and I need to look at my sheet.
Yeah,
get your stuff.
So Yeva,
you see these as
Moot lifts the light
and outlines the room
a little bit more.
See these monsters,
creatures coming towards you
and they look
more vicious than the ghost did
as it was proceeding towards you.
It is your turn in initiative
which means you can choose to attack
or reason with,
if you so desire,
the monsters before you.
Holy shit.
Punch him.
I did it.
My,
one part of me
that is now wise
thinks I should
reason with them.
But then.
You're not,
are you very good at that kind of thing?
My true essence
is all about punching things.
So I will punch
the monkey monsters.
Like they're custard.
Custard punching.
Punch him into custard.
I mean,
I'm going to go for the great ax
because it's great.
And it'll probably,
I mean,
it sets the clues in the name,
isn't it?
It's not a mediocre ax
for a reason.
No,
I wouldn't go for that one.
So you click your plus seven
to see if you hit.
Let's see.
Come on.
Twenty three.
Oh, yes.
Ben,
roll some damage.
You were right.
I should not attempt to reason.
Oh, that's not very good.
Or is it good?
Eight.
Eight's good.
Eight's all right.
Oh, good.
Yeah, eight's good.
You swing forth
and catch one of these monkey creatures
and cleave it in two
and it screams as it
is thrown to the ground.
Holy shit.
Take that custard monkey.
Screams very briefly,
I imagine,
if it's just been cleaved in two.
Unless both parts are still screaming.
Did they really need us?
Why did they hire us to come
and protect them?
I don't think they need our help.
People are freaking amazing.
Holy shit.
Well, that's because we're going to
feed you to the...
Oh, no.
Nothing.
Sorry.
I didn't say anything.
Were we about to tell them?
No, shush.
You do have the option
to attack a second time
with your character.
Sure.
Never say no to that.
Maybe we should leave one alive
so we can torture it for some time.
Maybe get secrets out of it.
That's not very nice.
I was going to say,
put a leash on it.
I'm not sure about that.
Yes.
No.
Just a good, clean kill.
All right.
No, no, actually,
I don't think so.
I think let's see
what these custard monkeys
are all about.
But there's two left on there.
How many are there?
There are three left.
Oh.
Well, maybe let's...
We already outnumbered them
and I think we've demonstrated
a show of strength
by cleaving one of them in half.
So I think the others
might be inclined to sit up
and pay attention, don't we?
That's true.
Shall we scream,
ready to talk now?
Yes.
Yeah, just to scare them.
Who's next?
Mother fudgers.
No, no, it's not who's next.
No, no, no, no, no.
No one's next.
Unless you're going to talk to us.
Yeah, yes.
Yeah.
You have tremble at my mighty strength.
They continue to scream at you.
But are they charging forward?
Yes, continually.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
These custard monkeys are annoying.
Sully, it is your turn.
Sully's going to take his staff of the adder
and use it once to try to whack one.
And then I'm going to fucking make it the snake thing.
I haven't done that yet.
What's that?
I don't know.
Let's find out together.
The snake thing?
17 to hit.
17 will hit.
Are we turning them from monkeys into snakes?
Because I'm not sure snakes are any better.
Oh, no.
Is that an improvement?
This thing can do good stuff.
Yeah, hold on.
Hold on.
Oh, fuck me.
Classic Amy.
Two.
Two damage.
You hit it and it knocks it to the ground,
but it's still crawling towards you,
looking up at you, screaming in your direction.
Okay, well, I'm going to use a bonus action
because that was embarrassing.
I had to follow what this giant goliath just did,
and I'm desperate for approval.
So I'm going to speak the staff's command word,
which he hadn't actually thought of just until right now.
So it's like, I think he's going to shake and go,
come on, you damn thing.
That's going to be it.
And the head of the staff is going to become an animated,
an animate poisonous snake.
And then I can use another bonus action
to put it away if I want to.
But now the snake gets a turn,
and I'm going to just push it at the thing,
and it's going to try to bite him.
So the staff turns into what was a wooden staff,
now turns into an animated snake.
It has the head of a snake, not the whole thing.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
The head turns into a snake.
Oh, fuck off.
Oh, no, it doesn't.
Now I'm just rubbing my snake on him.
You're rubbing your snake on the monkey down on the ground.
Nobody asked for this.
I mean, it's not the first time this has happened with Sully.
See, when I do that, it is considered vulgar.
I get asked to leave the bar when I do that.
Does that make me the monkey?
The monkey creatures, it's their turn.
Is this one at least confused?
It is very confused.
And all of them begin to try and surround you
and increase the volume of their scream.
Everybody make a Constitution saving throw.
We must save the Constitution.
Sixteen.
Fifteen.
Maybe they all just want to have a snake rubbed on them.
That's what they're asking for.
Who doesn't?
Fourteen.
Thirteen.
I have rolled a four.
Four, okay.
You're tired, Yeever.
Yeever is the only one to fail.
You are now stunned.
Yikes.
Oh my God.
A stunned creature is considered incapacitated,
can't move, and can speak only falteringly.
You automatically fail strength and dexterity saving throws
until you are no longer stunned
and attack rolls against you have advantage.
Oh, hang on.
Yeever is the one who's stunned.
I'm the one who's truly screwed.
You just can't believe it.
You're stunned.
You're old and I can't move.
Oh, this is so bad.
They rush towards Yeever as Yeever collapses onto the ground.
Ow.
I'll protect you.
Guerrera, it's your turn.
Is that me?
That's you.
Good.
That's you, Magenta.
Yeah.
I'm going to protect you, Yeever.
I'm going to sing them a song.
Because that's one of my skills, isn't it?
Yes.
Yes, right.
So I play the lute and stuff.
You can play the lute.
Okay.
I'm going to sing a beautiful song.
They're going to be so amazed by my performance,
they'll stop and rethink all of their life choices.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay, you're trying to distract them with song
so that they don't eat Yeever.
Love it.
So make a performance roll, please.
It would be under your skills.
21.
See, I'm bloody good.
Excellent.
That's a whole musical, that is.
That's a full-length musical.
We've all sat down to watch.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Under your abilities, you do also have the option
to taunt during this performance.
So you could taunt the creature.
They would have to make a saving throw,
but if they do not succeed,
they get disadvantage on their next attack.
Hang on.
Do you mean taunt like you're a silly billy?
Yeah, you put some flavor into it.
So you're singing beautifully.
Why would I do that?
What, like I'm halfway through Hello Dolly
and I suddenly break off to go,
you smell of cheese and I'm crazy.
Yeah, it becomes a diss track halfway through.
Right.
I mean, I could do.
It's a bit weird, but yeah, why not?
He's on board, isn't he?
Yeah, let's have a look.
Taunt.
I mean, what a strange thing to do.
You just have to say you do it,
tell me how you do it.
All right.
Okay, that's fine.
Throw them off their game.
Right.
Okay, so I start questioning
exactly what brought them into a dungeon.
They were in a barrel, weren't they?
So what sort of path has led them here?
So my taunt is basically sort of,
oh dear, oh dear, you've gone the wrong way
down your life's path, haven't you?
Oh dear.
So there's a bit of sympathy in there as well,
which I think is,
that's just worse.
That's even worse.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's a disappointment.
Yes, yes.
I put a slightly maternal kind of regret on my face
and it absolutely kills them.
As they begin to try to tear into Yver's flesh,
they stop and pause for a moment
and consider their life choices.
Seeing the disappointment in your own eyes
and pause for a moment,
it has appeared to succeed.
Glim.
Okay, I am going to attack one of them
with the Vorpal Sword.
Oh, so that's a 27.
Okay.
It's a terrible roll, so that's nine damage.
And then as a bonus action,
I'm also going to do ensnaring strike,
so because I hit them,
writhing mass of thorny vines
appears at the point of impact,
and they need to make a strength saving throw
or else they are restrained by those magical vines.
Just the individual creatures?
Yes.
Okay.
God, we come into their house,
we sing at them, we cleave them in two.
That's not very nice, is it?
No, it's horrible.
It's horrible.
This whole thing, it's amoral.
Anyway, sorry.
There are two creatures on top of Yever
and you cleave through one of them
and hit part of the other one,
and these vines shoot up
and grab the one that is still alive
and pull it to the ground.
So you've killed one.
Perfect.
It will take damage on its next turn
if it is still thornily trapped to the ground.
Moot.
The one is thornily trapped to the ground,
one is being rubbed upon by a snake,
and those are the only two remaining.
I forgot about that one.
That's interesting.
I'm just over here being like,
you like that?
100% percent.
So it wasn't a quick rub.
This rub is going on for bloody ages.
Oh yeah, it's a constant.
Good lord.
So he's getting quite chafed.
The stamina involved.
I would assume so.
I will, I'll take my dagger,
which is out of Moot's normal realm of things,
and I'll slash at the one
that's being trapped by the vines.
Do I get advantage on them?
You do, because it is restrained.
Oh, it's a nat 20 on the second one.
That's why advantage is good.
I love it.
Less than 1% of the time.
Well, the first one, yeah,
was a three before bonus,
so we'll use that.
All right.
Double damage coming your way, Russ.
Okay.
Haven't had to roll a D4
when there's damage involved in a very long time.
Be prepared to be underwhelmed.
Nine damage in total, Russ.
Nine damage.
Okay.
It's restrained on the ground.
So Moot, seeing the entire scene around,
runs and like superhero lands this dagger
right into this creature.
Yeah, style points through the roof.
The echoing of its scream dies down.
There is one remaining.
It is Yeever's turn.
Yeever, you are stunned on the ground.
Creatures were blasted back off of you.
You can make a Constitution saving throw
to try to knock yourself out of your stun.
All right.
Well, the creatures bounced back off me.
They were thrown back when they tried to attack me.
Well, yeah, why is that?
Yeah.
With the help.
Oh, you killed them, of course.
Sorry.
I thought I was doing better than I was there.
Well, I'll roll a Constitution throw at four.
That's not terribly good, is it?
Oh dear.
No, no, you're still stunned.
I'm not contributing much to the party.
You started really well.
Well, you cleaned that one in half right away.
I did, didn't I?
You put yourself down.
Sully, we're back to you.
Is the monkey that Sully Snake is nuzzling
still screaming or is it just like...
Yeah, no, it's screaming for a different reason.
It hasn't accepted.
It hasn't reached a point of just like,
well, I suppose this is my life now.
And they're like, that's okay.
It is backing away as Sully is rubbing it with the snake.
I'm going to try to bite it with the snake head again.
This fucking thing won't work.
Son of a fuck.
Hold on.
Do I have...
No, this is what happens.
So Sully, Amy rolled a natural one, which is bad.
I mean, she is a halfling and can re-roll that.
Shut your face, Tom.
This is better.
So what happens is...
Hold on.
Wait, what happens is if we don't re-roll...
It doesn't work in the cave, apparently.
Hold on, wait.
In this first play out, before you re-roll that,
is the monkey grabs the staff and turns it on Sully
and begins rubbing the snake on Sully.
And you're right, that was better.
It is much better.
He falls to the ground just in fits of laughter.
But you can get bitten by...
I can't.
It's attuned to me.
My snake will...
Oh, fuck off.
It's okay.
It rolled bad.
It rolled a natural one as well.
So now it flip-flops.
It is attuned to you.
So the scene plays.
You're running around chasing this monkey,
rubbing your snake.
The Benny Hill theme tune plays.
The monkey chases you,
and now you're chasing the monkey again.
All the while rubbing my snake?
All the while rubbing your snake upon the monkey.
I'm going to have to get HR involved.
That's what Peter Gabriel's song,
Shock the Monkey, was actually about.
Oh, yes.
This monkey's turn.
Romp the monkey.
This monkey's turn.
And it is going to try to flee.
You may make an opportunity attack.
Yeah, fuck this guy.
I guess...
Let us try one more time.
One more time.
The only time I've ever had.
How could it go wrong?
This is the last.
Can you go just fuck yourself?
That was a three.
Plus anything?
Um, one.
Plus one.
That's a plus one.
I know.
The snake makes one feeble attempt to try and grab.
It's been rubbed up all over the place.
The monkey shoots its wings out
and flies back down the way you came.
Yeah, and don't come back.
I didn't even know they had those.
They had wings?
Yeah, I did describe them with wings
flying up and towards you.
You did.
I do remember.
And then we got caught up with rubbing snakes.
Things were happening.
Yeah, and don't come back, you filthy monkey bat.
You look around and survey the scene.
Yeever is still stunned.
Somebody may go and try and help them.
I could.
Shall I slap him awake?
Yeah.
Would that help?
Or sing?
I could do the whiz in honor of the monkeys.
Yeah, yeah.
I could do a full rendition of the whiz.
All right.
You can't, you can't win.
I don't actually know the whiz.
Oh, that's a song from the whiz.
Yeever helps by singing along and then you manage to...
You can't win.
You manage to rouse them from their stunned state.
What did I miss?
Is the snake still rubbing the monkey?
No, and Sully kind of shakes it and it becomes just a stick again.
He puts it away.
Oh.
The crates are empty or they appear sealed?
Are you, you want to look around?
Obviously.
Let's roll some initi...
Er, not initiative.
Jesus, hold on a second.
Investigation for anybody who wants to search through.
Yeah.
Okay.
Eleven.
Didn't the monkeys have like blood stained mouths?
They did.
Oh god, what were they eating then?
Yeah, so is there like a dead or dying creature?
Great question.
You take some time.
You immediately, for those who immediately go,
you go and look over where the monkeys were when you came in
and you find a disemboweled goblin on the other side.
Looks like it had been feasted upon by the monkeys
who you interacted with upon your arrival.
Flameykins?
How did I just kill off Flameykins?
No.
No, definitely not.
Yeah, the goblin wakes up for a brief moment,
says, nope, not Flameykins, and then dies.
Completely, yeah.
Because it's now also a ghost.
That's right, yeah.
I close its eyes and say, Baham, I bless you.
The eyes pop back open.
How many times does she do it?
I will close his eyes.
After 13 times, Yever comes and...
Rip his eyelids off.
Gives him the skull from the sound of it.
Yeah, I mean, that is what it sounded like.
No, eyes are closed.
Sully just puts the lid back on.
All right, what do you need to look in there?
Looking through the barrels and crates,
you find potatoes.
You also find a skeleton clutching a key
and a secondary note.
So the potatoes haven't rotted, but the man has.
Yeah.
Special potatoes.
Oh, special potatoes.
Magical potatoes.
Here, I want to take the note.
Can I read it?
Are these magical potatoes?
I want to take one magic potato.
Yes, I would like a magical potato.
Okay, we've got a second note.
Dayrin, please get yams and a bottle of dandelion wine for dinner,
but do not shuffle your feet when you go through the ossuary.
Naylin is rigging his noise-activated trap
in case the night raiders come again.
Okay.
Oh, that's the contraption, is it?
Oh, so we have to be quiet when we go to the ossuary.
It sounds like it.
Number one, because, you know, it's the birds.
Number two, because, you know, the trap.
Noise-activated rigamarole trap.
I think I would be the perfect candidate
to go and blunder loudly into that room.
I have plus one stealth.
I think I would as well.
Let's go in.
I might have to sing show tunes
to make myself feel better while I could do that.
That will also help.
I guess we take that key also.
Oh, a key.
I missed that bit.
As you finish examining the room,
you do find that there is a door in the floor,
and you lift it, and there appears to be a ladder
that goes down three or four feet and is broken.
But it only goes down three or four feet?
Well, the ladder itself only goes down three or four feet.
I see.
There is a long...
What a pointless ladder.
Okay, we need someone with good arm strength
that can go down and then just hang on the last rung,
and then the rest of us can crawl down them.
Can we see how deep it is?
Yeah.
I imagine it's the giant, isn't it?
You, you fella.
Moot, throw your book in.
Oh, you know, I could just...
I go bat, and then I turn into a bat
and I fly down there.
You go bat now.
That's clever.
What do you see down there?
Bat.
Because you can even see in the dark.
I unbat when I get down to where the floor is
because, you know, bats are good at telling where things are,
and then I shout back up with however deep it is.
Okay, you go down into this hole in the floor,
and for everybody else, it's very dark down there.
The bat goes down.
You see him.
You kind of lose sight as he's zipping around.
Hold on a second.
Did you leave someone with your book,
or did you just plunge us all into darkness?
Darkness.
Okay.
So, retraction.
Moot goes bat now.
Light disappears.
He goes down into the hole.
What Moot you see as a bat
is you get down into this wide open chamber.
There appears to be a natural landform bridge,
often to one direction.
There is a landing point,
which looks like where the ladder itself would have gone,
and as you go down and you're using your echolocation,
you hear movement along all of the walls of this space.
All right.
Well, now that I know there's movement,
I'm going to change what happened.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, Season 2, Episode 145,
starring Amy More as Sully,
Carla Maxted as Glim,
Tom Laird as Moot,
with Russ More as your dungeon master,
and special guests Lindsay Sharman as Madame Magenta playing Guerrera,
and Lawrence Owen as Bernard playing Yeever.
Dialogue Editing by Carla Maxted,
and Sound Design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound,
Artlist, and Kavin MacLeod,
and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok,
Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss,
Perry Matey, Kayla Littlejohn,
L.A. Branton, Cosmic Octopus,
Ongeron Kiersen, Nathaniel Teeter,
Old School Gamer D,
Destiny Garcia, Jordan Anderson,
and Louis Hayes.
Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast,
where this month we're holding our first live show of the year
on March 28th, 7 p.m. Pacific, 10 p.m. Eastern,
and all patrons get in.
Join us today, Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
That's it for now.
Have a great week.
We'll talk to you soon.
You do have, hold on.
Let me fix that for you.
He gave him a weapon.
Yeah, I did give him a weapon.
Hold on.
I mean, punching's good.
I have unarmed strike as my only option currently.
Okay, give a refresh to your page there.
Gosh.
A whole new mechanic.
And you should have.
Good lord.
Weapons.
I'm carrying an absolute arsenal of weapons now.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.